In the recent session with the Energy Medicine Summit, Vanessa Cordoniu asked me about energetic cords.
I wanted to elaborate more because due to time, I briefly touched on the subject. There are many more nuances to cord cutting that I didn’t talk about. What about cord cutting with someone that you are in a platonic or romantic relationship with? Let’s explore!
Learning to say no, especially as an empath can get difficult. You want to help. You feel their pain and naturally you want to help.
However, we have limits and though we want to help our friends, clients, neighbors; there isn’t time in the day for everyone. Inevitably, this leads to burn out because you have spent so much of your precious energy and time giving to everyone, you have nothing left for yourself.
The word, “no” is a powerful tool. Say it, NO!
Energetically, no is a very good way of cutting cords. You are creating a firm boundary by saying no, not a wishy-washy no. If your mind says no, but your energy says “well…maybe…” that’s a wishy-washy no. That isn’t going to work and energetically, the others will pick up on that and keep on you until you give them what they want.
Standing firm in “no” sounds easy, right? It can be, but sometimes it’s much easier said than done. You feel me on this?
For instance, sometimes I forget that I am empathic. Why? Sometimes I don’t realize that I am having a telepathic conversation with someone. Sometimes I catch it right away, and sometimes I re-imagine conversations from the past, or I imagine future conversations. When I start getting a response back from the other person, (and not me imagining them answering back) I realize, “oh the person is answering me back”, because I feel their emotions and I am reacting—that’s how I know it’s telepathic.
This also creates a cord, because I am thinking of them and/or we are having telepathic conversations.
Let me give you a real-world example. A few years ago, I used to manage my friend’s property because he had moved out of the area. He had a main house and a guest house. I am not a real estate agent, but he is. I helped with arranging services when the renters needed repairs, show the place when it’s empty, etc.
Once we had two renters who didn’t like each other and made their lives a living hell and started to make mine that way, too—only because I allowed them. When you own or manage a property and the renters have conflict with each other, it’s not our business. We can’t step in unless there is damage to the property. It’s unfortunate, but landlords are not mediators, counselors or bodyguards.
For a while, they wouldn’t call me, but they would email my friend the owner about the offenses that took place. Then, after a while they would contact me about their conflicts. They would text me letting me know who did what, and that they called the police. I would spend a few days having these arguments with them-- but in my head. Only it wasn’t in my head, I wasn't imaging it, I was hearing and feeling them, it was telepathic. They were seeking me to solve their problems with each other and, because I cared about them and because I feared their conflict would turn physical, the enmeshment was born. My boundaries were crossed.
I realized I needed to stop giving them my time and energy. As you can imagine, it was very stressful, and I was feeling everyone’s stuff.
“Don’t answer their texts when they complain that so-and-so just did this,” I told myself. I did my best to detangle myself from their situation and tried to stop worrying about them.
I had to say over and over to myself “it’s not my problem. They have a problem with each other.”
It was only after talking to my friend who used to be a landlord herself, that she told me to feel all the feelings and let it go. I was feeling my feelings, I was feeling their feelings, BUT and here is the key, I wasn’t releasing it. I wasn’t releasing it out of my energy field/aura. I hedged on my NO. My boundaries were open to them, and I let them rope me into their drama.
DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!!!!
How could I forget to release it? Because I got caught up in their sticky web of enmeshment and remember, I am empathic. They couldn’t stop retaliating towards one another, they couldn’t let it go, and that energy sucked me right in. I couldn’t let go. I gave an empathic ear; I couldn’t stop feeling bad about not being able to do anything about their personal conflict, and I felt for both renters and the psychological stress they were causing for each other.
Here is another cord-cutting technique I did: I sent all their energy being sent my way, back to them. Anything they were sending to me energetically, including telepathically, I muted it and sent it all back to them. And I reclaimed my energy, all of my telepathic communications with them, and the compassion I felt for them and I called it back to myself and sent it to the Earth to recycle.
This is a form of cord-cutting. Send their energy right back, like the snail-mail that doesn’t belong to you, you write RTS—Return To Sender. Then, you call/pull back any energy you sent them, and before it hits your aura/energetic field, send it it to the Earth. Feeling all the feelings and release them, find where you feel it in your body and pull the cord out at the root, like pulling a weed out of the ground; you need to dig a around the weed to make sure you can pull the entire weed out along with all of its roots, and tendrils out of the ground so it doesn’t grow back.
The other part of this is don’t beat yourself or make yourself feel bad when you realize you got caught up in someone else’s drama. Feel your feelings and release them out of you. When you realize that you need to cut cords with someone you still have a relationship with, just take your time with it and go easy on yourself and go easy on the person when you see them. Find a neutral place and write down all your feelings. Ask yourself how much do you need to be involved in this situation? Ask if this situation, or relationship, is serving you, and start the cord-cutting process.
Cutting the cord with someone you need to cut out of your life can be a lot easier than cutting cords and cleaning up the energy with a person you want or need to keep in your life. So, if you have to keep this person in your life, try the above techniques.
The less emotion you feel about the person and the situation you two were in, the cleaner the energy is with you. The other person will notice the shift subtly and respond differently to you.
Energy feeds on each other, whether we label it good or bad. In future interactions with the person, you won’t get sucked in so easily and if you do, it’s easier to reaffirm your boundaries, say NO, and cut any more remaining cords.
So, repeat after me, gather all your energy and just say “NO!”