Ep. 14: Love Thy (SXY) with Self-Love Expert, Sharmila Mali

I had the honor and privilege to be featured on my dear friend, Angelica Gutierrez's podcast, SXY Radiance. We had a great time talking about self-pleasuring, getting over my ex (which took year, btw) and the many simple ways of loving yourself to heal a heartbreak. There is also a guided visualization and meditation I lead with singing bowls at the beginning and end of the episode.

Uplifting and inspiring conversations with healerpreneurs about confidence in

business and overcoming obstacles in life.

It took me a long time to come out of the healer closet—I was afraid of being judged and burned at the stake, I was afraid to put myself out there with marketing, I had so many what-ifs, and they are all in my head.  And that held me back. I am always curious to know from other healers about how they cultivate their confidence, and so, The Confident Healer was born.


I also wanted to interview healers that I normally don’t see in the wellness industry—I don’t know why  Black, Indigenous, People of Color (BIPoC) aren’t more visible in this industry. It’s not like we don’t exist. I want to know does a Black healer have confidence issues in their business, what about an Indigenous person, or a Mexican person or… you get my drift.  Of course, we all suffer from some kind of childhood trauma, but for BIPoC and BiPoC LGBTQI+ the experience will have childhood trauma mixed with some kind of racism, homophobia, and sexism (or all three). These are stories that aren’t heard for many reasons and I am providing a space to be heard and seen to create unity, compassion and to inspire.  Especially in a non-white America, BIPoC families will hold high expectations for their children to have “respectable” careers, put your head down and fall in line—pursue a field as a medical doctor, mechanical engineering, accountant, something steady and that pays well. Throw being an immigrant, and LBTQI+ in the mix and you have some more external pressure and internal struggles to untangle. Becoming a healer whether you are who you are or where you come from can be daunting because of fears of being judged by other people that aren’t your family, the limitations from religious indoctrination, and/or you don’t feel supported because there is no model for making money as a healer anyway, and it’s still a fringe career choice (outside of our Soul Body Ojai community ;)


Egalitarianism is an important aspect of society for me, being woman of color who is: a bi-cultural immigrant, from a patriarchal and religious society that oppresses women, grew up with a bigoted family, I should have ended up with a very different viewpoint than I do.  I never felt comfortable enough to voice this in a public manner, but this year has empowered me to not be complicit in my public silence. I am taking a stand and including the people that we don’t often hear from.


When you see people doing the same kind of healing work that you want to do, and are thriving—paying their bills, supporting their families, it’s so encouraging and motivating. And when you see someone that looks like you, think about how even more encouraging and motivating it is so see someone else paving the way. Representation does matter, period. 


When we share resources, stories, and innovative ideas, we all thrive, we all succeed and we all create a collective confidence for others to pool from.


When we share resources, stories, and innovative ideas, we all thrive, we all succeed and we all create a collective confidence for others to pool from. 

It’s been so inspiring to hear their stories, and hear their strategies for being confident. It’s made me more confident in my marketing, like putting my face on social media and reaching out to people so people will know about The Confident Healer. 


I think learning the mechanics and history of self-confidence from a healer will really help anyone listening to build their confidence up.  Life has thrown us one big fat horrid curveball and this is my way of making some sweet-ass proverbial lemonade. 


I hope you give it a listen and subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and I hope that you also tell your friends about it, too so they can find the gems that make their life a little bit better. I can’t believe I just wrote that, another exciting improvement from making this podcast!


I am so excited to do this show and I hope you love it as much as I love making it.


You can check it out here at or listen at the top of the page.


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    Sharmila Mali

    Sharmila Mali is the hostess with the mostess of The Confident Healer podcast, plus she is healer!

      Sharmila, Mali, self love, expert, reiki, healer, intuitive

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